Clash!: Life in the Barracks
by luigigirl65
Summary: Welcome to the village of Waterloo! Life is like all other clans. Train, fight, die, repeat. Then you have the 'Unkillables'. Join the clan and meet characters like the strong Hercules, the sharp-eyed Diana, the intelligible Merlin, and many other warriors! Follow through their battle memoirs and their daily life stuck in the Barracks. Updates may be sparatic.
1. Intro to the Story

His name is Hercules.

Born of elixir. Sword in hand. Overall, a powerful Barbarian.

He worked like all others. Train, fight, die, repeat. However, Hercules was different.

He never died.

The small barracks he lived in saw many Barbarians come and go. Hercules remained. How he didn't die, he doesn't know. He survived arrows to the head, being peppered by cannons, and being blown to kingdom come by bombs.

Yet here he is.

And little did he know, he wasn't the only 'unkillable' there is.


	2. Diana: Sharp-Shooting Warrior

Hercules saw Felix, a builder, hammering nails into the walls of the Barracks. The Barracks housed the warriors it trained. During the times of upgrades, they have to stay on the camps.

"Felix," he said, "Is it done?"

The builder looked at him. "I'll have it done by tomorrow, sir."

"Tomorrow?! I can not train starting 'tomorrow'! I need to train NOW!" He slammed his sword into the ground in his fit of rage.

"Had a good tantrum, diaper baby?"

"Shut up and build."

He gave him an angered look. "Tomorrow."

"Fine."

The night was cold and dark. At the brink of dawn, the Barbarian's eyes opened. Much to his surprise, the sounds of new voices fluttered in the air. He got up from his recumbent position, sitting up. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to take in this new sensation.

Upon looking at the camp, he noticed a large amount of pinkette females, chatting away with the Barbarians.

"What is this?!" he cried in confusion.

One of the females looked at him. "Good morning!"

"Who are you?!"

"Huh?

"WHO ARE YOU?!"

"I'm... I'm... An Archer..."

He stood up. "IS THIS WHAT FELIX ALLOWED?!"

Another Archer spoke up. "If you have an issue, Spartacus, go ask Diana."

"Diana?"

"Yeah. Our current leader. She's in the Barracks."

Why he was angered by these females, we'll never know. However, he wanted to find out who this 'Diana' is.

Upon walking into the Barracks, he was greeted by an arrow whizzing by his face, hitting a tree on the other side of Waterloo. The villager clapping at it screamed in shock, running away.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! AH!"

Hercules watched, then turned around at the source of the arrow.

Standing there was another pinkette. She looked like the girls outside, just with a bigger bust, long pink hair, and a golden highlight on the alright side of her head.

"Idiot. You almost made me miss." Reaching into the quiver that was hidden by her cape, she continued to speak. "Lucky for this filthy place, I never miss." She turned, aiming at a target on the wall of the building.

"I'm guessing you're Diana."

She smirked, turning to him. "And who are you? The gym teacher?"

"I am offended, woman."

"Get used to it." She fired the arrow, hitting the center of the target.

Hercules didn't like this woman. She was rude and he knew he can't work with her. "Listen here! This is my village, and-"

He was cut off by an arrow, piercing his skull. Warm elixir dripped down his face onto the floor below.

Diana's stoic appearance changed to one of intrigue. "So, you're another Unkillable?"

"Unkillable?"

She stepped back and gave a slight bow. "Ah, the reincarnation of Genghis himself. Pardon my behavior. I am Diana, reincarnation on Artemis, and your equal."

His face read 'what the fuck are you talking about?' "Listen, Diana. That's nice and all, but I don't know what you're talking aabout," he said, pulling the arrow from his head.

"You don't know of the Unkillables?"

"I think I know, but to be sure, why don't you tell me to see if I'm right."

She rolled her eyes. "Why must it be the doofus that is the Barbarian Unkillable?" She turned around. "The Unkillables are a group of almost invincible warriors,destined the destroy the Goblin invasion and rule the world. That's the short version. I'll tell you more when I feel you're ready."

"What?"

"Hey, do you guys have elixir? I'm almost out." She pulled out a flask and opened it.

Even the dim people like Hercules knew she was evading the subject, but decided to go with it. "You drink elixir?"

"It's a long story," she muttered, "But if I'm forced to live in Water in the Loo, I must know where the storages are."

"First off, it's Waterloo. Chief said a historic name would give us pride. Secondly, I am not happy about this either, but I guess that I am forced to live with you. Storages are by the Town Hall."

He turned to walk away, leaving the Archer in a date. "Stupid! What do you mean live together?! Answer me!"


	3. Smeagol: Quick-Witted Theif

(Warning: Author is now using the language expected of a student talking the plot out during th twenty minutes you get for lunch. Swearing. Enter at your own risk.)

Hercules gave a stretch and a yawn. It's been a while since he slept in his bed. The barracks have gone through another upgrade, allowing the little green thieves known as Goblins in. They didn't mess with the Unkillables, mainly because Diana threatened to shoot an arrow up heir asses.

The Barbarian didn't enjoy this upgrade. They had to DESTROY these guys, right? Why are they helping?

Diana appeared from her room, right next to his. She ran her fingers through her messy hair. Her other hand placed a sack of gold on the table beside her.

"Morning."

"Yeah, hey," she groggily replied. She ran her fingers through her hair in attempt to straighten it. "I'm heading out to that 'Detroit' town. I'm going to buy some sugar. You need anything?"

"Yeah. Can you bring back some bread? I'm tired of roasted carrot."

"Sure thing," she replied. "I just need to get my bow. Detroit's on the other side of the forest." She walked back into her room, closing the door behind her.

Hercules walked over to the table situated in the middle of the room. He rested his arm on the wooden surface, propping his head up with his hand. Life has been a bit more rough since Diana moved in and mentioned the 'Unkillables', but she was a bit compassionate when picking up groceries. She was willing to risk her life to bring back sugar and bread, and he was grateful for that.

Just then, she burst out of her room, a loom of rage on her face. "HERCULES!"

Of course, they had their disagreements.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY BOW?!"

"Huh?'

"MY BOW! WHERE IS IT?!"

"Hey! I know as much about your bow like I know how to read! I don't know a thing, woman!"

"Well, I'm not going to town until I get it! I can literally sit here and-"

She was cut off by a thumping sound on the other side of the table. Both turned to see a green hand, flopping around. Hercules squinted, trying to take this in. His hand shot across the table, grabbing onto the hand that almost got the grocery money. Lifting it up, a Goblin hung onto it, smiling nervously. He looked like the others, just with a red stripe on the suspenders holding his pants up.

"I think we found the bastard responsible."

"Hi!" he chirped, before swinging out of his hand and running off. "Bye!"

"Hey!" he yelled back at him, chasing him outside, "Get back here!"

Diana shook her head and stepped outside, stopping in front of the elixir storage. She pulled the cork out of it and set her flask inside, filling it with the purplish liquid.

The Barbarian chased the Goblin around, using his sword to slash at him. He continued to jump away, just in time for Hercules to smash something else.

"Hey!" yelled Ralph, the Builder, "Watch where you're swinging that thing!"

"Watch what you're swinging in that tone, Ralph!"

Diana watched the chase unfold. The Goblin ran about, until he came close to Diana. In response, she put her leg out and tripped him. He bounced along the floor, before sliding to a halt, all the items in his bag spilling onto the floor. In the pile was the bow.

She reached down, picking it up. Pulling out an arrow, she aimed at his head. "State your business, bitch."

"M-my name is Smeagol!"

"All I need to hear." She fired, hitting him in the head. However, he did not explode in a burst of elixir. Smeagol realized this and gave a smug look. "Oh, fuck. Not you."

Hercules dusted himself off. "What?"

"He's an Unkillable!"

"What?!"

"The reincarnation of Eugene himself!"

Smeagol stood up, looking at her. "I'm guessing you are just like me. Got a room in the barracks?"

Diana was livid. This asshole wthe one of the Unkillables? A bloody-

"Hey. Since you can't kill him, you might as well beat him wwhenever you want." Ralph returned to his work.

Diana's face slowly morphed into a wicked grin. Smeagol's smirk vanished. "Uh... Check please!"


	4. Raided

Diana had her eyes closed, a slight breeze flowing through her pink hair.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you can stand to get a haircut?"

She opened her eyes, looking at Smeagol, who sat in front of her.

"I don't know. Did anyone ever tell!l you that you can stand to get an arrow in your ass?"

"Joke's on you. I don't have one."

She gave him a death glare. "I will rip you one."

"Meh."

She closed her eyes, sighing. Turning away, she climbed the wooden tower she was stationed at. Sitting on top, she looked over the peaceful land...

Barbarian.

That one was not from this town.

"RAID!" she yelled, trying to get the others to hide.

Screams called out from Builders and Villagers alike. They dashed to the Town Hall, where they hid. She stood up, aiming her bow at the oncoming barbarian.

Suddenly, a large blast came from below her. The tower went up in flames, causing the archer to leap out.

Hercules appeared from the flaming Barracks. "What's going on?!"

"Raid. Get to the hall, Hercules. Get Smeagol."

"What about you?"

"I got this."

"They have a wizard!"

"But I have to protect this place if we were to fulfill our prophecy."

He looked at her. She seemed intent on her goal. "Then I shall fight too." He ran off, returning with Smeagol at his side.

"Hey, we're Unkillables! We're in this together, Ratched."

Diana smiled, a rare occurrence. "Then let's go! For Waterloo!"

The town was in rubble. The three Unkillables laid on the floor, scarred and burnt.

"What the Hell was that?"

"I said we're UnKILLables. Not UnBEATables."

Smeagol looked to his partners. "Hey."

They looked at the goblin.

"We didn't lose that much," he said, opening his sack. Inside was the town's gold and elixir, with a bit from the invaders.

Diana smirked. "Maybe the little shit isn't useless after all."


	5. Benson: The Gentle Giant

The goblin sat in the field around the barracks, flipping a gold coin. He smirked, as if enjoying this moment.

"Hey, you lazy ass," an angered Hercules snapped at him, causing Smeagol to look at him. "You better help repair. Those lazy-ass Builders aren't helping too much."

"What can a lazy ass like me do?"

He sighed. "You little... JUST GET OVER THERE!"

He rolled his eyes. If the barracks were open right now, he'd be in his room, busy counting the loot he stole. But thy were under another upgrade, as if chief didn't have enough to make them do.

"Fine! Don't have to be a whiny bitch over it."

He stood up, glaring at Hercules. As they began to walk back, a heavy footstep was heard. Smeagol and Hercules turned...

"FOOT!"

Hercules ran to the nearby Archer Tower. Diana stood on top of it, looking at the scene Smeagol was making.

"I wish I had a camera. This is rich."

Smeagol was then crushed by a giant foot.

"Hey. He actually called it."

The group of oncoming Giants continued their stride, entering the camp.

A cloaked figure appeared before the tower. His hidden glance watched the giants. "Hm... where's the tenth one?"

"Huh?"

"The tenth one. I specifically ordered ten giants to show up. Where's the tenth one?"

"Calm it, Chief. I'm sure he'll show up. He's probably late, that's all."

The Chief looked at the archer. "We can only hope. We need those for our next attack on their next outpost."

"Don't you want reinforcements from Detroit?"

"We'll be fine with the tenth one," he said, a slight smile appearing from the chief's cloaked face.

Diana looked out to the forest. An unamused expression laid on her face as the chief left. Hercules looked at her.

"We would never have this issue in Detroit."

Smeagol pulled himself out of the hole in the ground that the Giant made. "I'm-"

Just like that, a final Giant appeared, brown streaks through his orange beard. He then crushed Smeagol beneath his foot.

"Is he...? Is he really gone?"

The green hand of the goblin appeared. "I'm okay!"

"Fuck."

"You really have a lot of hatred under that skirt, do you?"

"Giants are bipedal."

Just then, the second foot smashed him. The Giant stopped, looking at his foot.

After an awkward moment of silence, the voice of the Archer spoke up. "Is he really gone? We are free from the green menace known as Smeagol. We-"

The Giant gave a shy look. "Sorry," he said, moving his foot.

"PSYCHE!"

"FUCK!"

The chief returned, looking at the Giant. "Glad to see you, Benson."

Hercules looked at him. "Benson?"

"The Giant equivalent of you guys."

"Unkillable?"

"Yeah."

Benson smiled warmly. "Ey, nice to meet you, sir."

Chief smiled as well. "I sent Felix to take care of housing for him, but I'm sure he'll be a wonderful addition to our team." He turned to walk away.

Diana smirked, looking at him, and back to Smeagol. "Can you smash him again?"

Benson frowned. "Ey, that ain't nice."

"Trust me, you'll want to do it."


	6. Revenge

The chief led the group of Giants, some Archers, Barbarians, and Goblins into the village that raided them.

Diana snickered. "What?"

Hercules looked at the village. To his surprise, it was not too remarkable. The walls were of stone at most. The Town Hall wasn't too large and the storages were still low-leveled. However, the Barracks were able to take in Wizards.

"Too easy!"

"You mean this weakling managed to beat three Unkillables?"

She stopped laughing and actually though of that.

"He's not even in a clan! If he was, it would be a sm-"

"Shut up."

The Barbarian looked at her. "Fine."

The Chief looked at her. "Diana. I need you and Benson to run a distraction with the Giants."

"Yes sir!"

"That should buy enough time to attack with Hercules, Smeagol, and their troops."

Hercules saluted him. "You can count on us!"

"Positions!"

The two Archer Towers nearby the Town Hall were talking.

"Dude, it's called the Wilhelm Scream. It's the scream used in Star Wars when that Stormtrooper was hit."

"Oh, I love that scream! Isn't it like..." she cleared her throat, "Aaaah!"

"No, it's more like... Aaahh!"

"No, that's not it-" Suddenly, a single arrow popped out of nowhere, piercing the skull of the Archer, knocking her off, causing her to scream.

"Dude, that was totally it!" However, another arrow came out, nailing her in the chest. She pulled it out, seeing the elixir bleeding. Looking at the source of the arrow, she saw the pink-haired Archer aiming at them.

"At least you'll fall soon, bitch," she said to them. She raised her bow, firing at the cannon firing at them.

Diana looked up, seeing a poorly-shot arrow fired at her. She jumped out of the way, watching it land lifelessly on the ground. She gave a sly look at the Archer, raising her bow again. She aimed for her head, knocking her off her own tower.

The cannon fired at her again, causing her to fly backwards. She felt some elixir coming from her mouth due to the impact on her stomach. The Archer felt broken on the inside: something she never thought she'd get into. Looking up, she gave a slight smirk. "TROOP, ADVANCE!"

A wave of the large humanoid creatures emerged from the woods. They all headed towards the cannons, not seeming to be affected by the small turrets. However, the sense of invincibility vanished as the Giants began to fall. Diana's smug look vanished as they fell one-by-one around her. A bit of elixir dripped from her mouth.

"Leader down!" one of the pinkette females yelled to the other waiting troop. The troops muttered among themselves.

"They got Diana?"

"Well, she can't be killed."

"But you know she'll be out for a few days!"

Hercules turned away from the Goblin. "For once, your little green ass is right."

Smeagol smiled.

The Chief looked at them, then back to the field. "Where's Benson?"

Diana managed to claw her way behind a tree, far from the action. In the woods, the Giant Unkillable was playing with a yellow flower. He was on his back, smiling at the plant.

"Benson! What the Hell are you doing?"

He looked at her, rolling over. "Hi Diana."

She didn't look amused by his calm tone. "Benson! The Giants are down! You need to get out there!"

"What's the point of fighting? It gets us nowhere, eh?"

She sighed, facepalming, despite the internal wound letting out more of the purple lifeforce. "Benson! We're getting wiped out here! Fighting is the only way for now!"

A cannonball whizzed by, trying to finish off the Archer. Benson looked at the source of the projectile as if something inside him switched. He stood up, handing Diana the blossom. "Hold my flower." He began pacing towards the cannon, a flame burning inside him.

Falling to her knees, Diana watched him go off. "Kick their asses, Benson. I got your flower."

The second troop was shocked to see the Giant burst from the woods and attack the cannon at high speeds (For Giant's standards). He then attacked the other cannon, flattening it in record time. The only mortar on the camp fired at him, doing nothing to the Giant.

Chief smiled, seeing the plan coming together. "ADVANCE!"

The Barbarians ran out, lead by Hercules. Smeagol led his part of the troop to the storage of resources, stealing the loot it had to offer. The Archers that were meant to be led by Diana, had to be led by another Archer for the time. Waves of arrows followed a sea of swords and claws, demolishing the little village.

The chief of this village saw as the others ran off. Something seemed off about those four troops. They managed to get away alive, unlike many troops. Looking at the demolished camp, he growled. "You're all useless!" he snapped at the Archers, who were barely managing to regain themselves.

"We're sorry-"

"No time for that! I have plans for this guy..."

Hercules carefully grinded the yellow flower into a dusted, putting into into hot water. "Totally didn't know that this flower was used for healing spells," he said, handing it to Diana.

Diana sipped the tea, giving a slight 'Mmhm'. "Giants are known to have a way with plants and herbs, even more so than Archers. They aren't really violent, so they need to do something in compensation. They even work with Wizards."

The warm tea began to heal the wound she obtained during the battle. Benson smiled at her. "Though you might need that. It seemed like a hard battle, eh?"

"He may be a big softie, but Chief knew what he was getting us in-"

The Chief walked in before she could finish. "Glad to see you recovering, but we got just enough Elixir to upgrade this place. Smeagol stole all their elixir."

"All obtainable by-"

Smeagol shook his head. "ALL of it."


	7. Jack: The Explosive Personality

It was a hot day in Waterloo. The Barbarian washed his face in the lake, cleaning off the dirt from training. As the ripples faded, he stared into the image looking back at him. Carefully moving his hair, he noticed a silver streak running through it. "This has to be-"

"Has to be what?" a feminine voice said, causing the man to panic, falling into the lake. Resurfacing, he saw the Diana laughing from amusement.

"Diana!"

"Flight response. Just as I expected."

He gave a slight smirk, knowing this prank was also her way of studying how the troop reacts so she can fuck with them. "Fight-or-flight this!" he yelled tugging on her cape. She fell into the lake as well, gasping as she resurfaced.

"You little-" She playfully splashed him with the water, causing him to send some back. The two quickly lost any vengeful feelings and continued to splash water at each other.

A wolf whistle called to them, and they turned to see Smeagol.

"You little bastard."

"It's my job!"

The two splashed water at him.

"Gosh! You are so annoying that you made my head explode!"

Suddenly, a small skeleton appeared, carrying a black bomb. With a slight cackle, he yelled, "BOOM!"

The Archer and Barbarian dove underwater as Smeagol was left out to dry. Well, not really. The explosion propelled the Goblin Unkillable into the lake. They all came up, looking at the smoldering crater the explosion left.

"That was an explo-"

"Don't. Finish. That. Sentence."

Hercules closed his mouth."

However, the bones scattered from the broken skeleton reformed, causing Diana to see the golden bone on his leg. "He's an-"

"Don't. Finish. That. Sentence."

She crossed her arms.

"Was that explosive? Really introduced myself with a bang!"

"Yeah, yeah, Pumpkin King," Hercules said, "What's your name?"

"Name's Jack! I'm a Wallbreaker!"

"Your 'Pumpkin King' comment was not far off, eh Hercules?"

"Shut up, Smeagol."

The Wallbreaker bounced. "You guys are the bomb!"

"And you need to learn how not to speak in pun."

"Oh, come on! Can't a guy make puns?"

"Not if they are that stupid."

He made a motion akin to rolling his eyes.


	8. Camping

(These little chapters are for character development and developing bonds. Expect them for relief from others. Enjoy! -Luigigirl65)

The campfire blazed and the current five Unkillables sat around it. They were scouting a Goblin settlement, and decided to camp before heading back to Waterloo. The Goblins didn't seem to notice them due to the fact they sat on a large hill in the forest.

The group were currently swaying side to side as Benson were laying a soft beat to a song. Diana provided the vocals to the tune.

"On the other side of a road I knew

Stood a guy that looked like you

I'd say it's déjà vu

But I knew it wasn't true.

'Cause I saw you fade away

Dying in my arms that day

Like you wanted away from me."

Jack waved a boney hand. "Hey, where'd you two hear that boomin' tune?"

Diana and benson stopped. "Well," she said, "It is a popular song in training camps."

"Doesn't explain how the Giant knows it."

Benson looked at him. "Giants don't like to fight often. Just sing and be merry. That beanstalk story is wrong, eh?"

"Agreed."

Smeagol smirked. "He sounds like a hetare if you ask me. Almost like he'd waved a white flag when attacked." He waved an imaginary flag about. "Germany! Germany! I was in Detroit and my shoelaces are untied!"

"Who the hell is Germany?" Hercules asked.

"No idea. Just came up with it on the fly."

Diana rolled her eyes. "He's the only one i can get along with, and you call him a hetare?"

"He just seems like-"

Smeagol then was smashed by the hand of the Giant.

"Thank you, Benson."

He smiled in response. He lifted his hand, looking at the Goblin.

"He pretended to waved the flag again. "I surrender."

The Archer snickered. "Now, shut up and listen to the girl with hatred up her skirt and the hetare."

Hercules arrived from the forest, carrying a a pot. "I got dinner!"

"Lemme guess," Diana muttered, "Roasted carrot. **Again**."

"That's all I can do since not many animals show up at this time."

"Really? I know fifty bird languages and another fifty animal languages. I know which ones are nocturnal. You don't ask ME to do the hunting?"

"I don't need your help."

"But roasted carrot can only get you so far. Come on. I'm gonna teach you how to hunt." She got up from her position, holding her bow. The two vanished into the woods.

Jack and Smeagol exchanged looks.

"Now what?"

Benson looked at them. "She said we gotta keep watch."

The two groaned. "Boring!"

The two soon returned, hauling a dead deer behind them. "Guys! How about ditching the carrot and having this instead!"

Benson shook his head. "I'll take the carrot. I'm a vegan."

She looked at him and nodded. "Of course, Benson."

Jack raised his hand. "I'm dead. do I have to eat it?"

"You don't have to if you don't have the ability."

He nodded.

She turned to Hercules. "We gonna roast this or what?" he asked.

"Alright, don't get your panties in a bunch. Also, don't forget we have to head back tomorrow."


End file.
